This can be especially true when it comes to repairing relationships. Chances are good that you know someone who’s recovering from substance use disorder (SUD) and could benefit from your support. Maybe they’re a close family member or friend, or maybe it’s someone you don’t know as well. Experts believe that tackling the emotional residue of addiction—the guilt and shame—is fundamental to building a healthy life. It’s not possible to undo the damage that was done, but it is possible to build new sources of self-respect by acknowledging past harms, repairing relationships, and maintaining the commitment to recovery. Many types of recovery support are available, and many people make use of more than one type at any time and may shift from one type of support to another as recovery proceeds and needs evolve.
Ways to Help When Loving Someone With an Addiction
Many people desire only to moderate use and bring it under control. In fact, there is growing support for what is called harm reduction, which values any moves toward reducing the destructive consequences of substance abuse. Researchers find that taking incremental steps to change behavior often motivates people to eventually choose abstinence.
#8 Encourage Tough Love
It’s also important to manage expectations for yourself and other family members. Families in early recovery may make mistakes, and they may not be their ideal selves, but they can still enjoy their time together and actively support one another. Even if things aren’t “perfect,” they can still be more meaningful as you work together toward a drug-free life.
When to get support
- Rubin also comforts parents by dispelling the notion that they are to blame for their kids’ problems, a feeling so many parents struggle with.
- Written by experts at the Center for Motivation and Change, Beyond Addiction is a truly unique guide for people who are dealing with a loved one’s substance use disorder.
- If you have any prescription drugs, make sure they are safely disposed of or locked away.
- For many with an alcohol problem, drinking a different kind of beverage can keep recovery on track.
Your therapist might recommend different strategies or techniques, depending on what they determine lies behind these relationship behavior patterns. Since one of the hallmarks of this fixation is persistent, even all-consuming thoughts of love and relationships, Simonian advises finding other interests that you can focus your energy on. According to a 2021 study, certain stages loving an addict of romantic love can cause an experience that resembles withdrawal. Thinking about a love object as a way of avoiding negative emotions can be a red flag, Ruiz says. But if pervasive thoughts about a particular person, or the idea of love in general, start to negatively affect your job, schoolwork, sleep, or any other areas of your life, that may pose some cause for concern.
It takes a long time not just to break the chains of physical addiction but to heal the past relationships and personal stumbling blocks that are the hallmark of addiction. Although this may be difficult, loved ones need to hear that “tough love” may be the only option. Many addicts halfheartedly seek treatment when people are no longer willing to support their drug habits or encourage their lifestyles.
How to Support Someone in Recovery & Sobriety
- Newly recovering addicts may have trust issues, and breaking a confidence violates their trust at a deep and personal level.
- The well-researched science of behavior change establishes that addictive behavior change, like any behavior change, is a process that starts long before there’s any visible shift in activity.
- It takes time to go to personal therapy sessions, and there’s often homework to complete between sessions.
- You may even find yourself interacting with them in a manner that is called codependency.